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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:03:43 GMT -5
Trigger warning for profanity, guilt, talk of eating disorders, death, violence
To start off, this is my journal. It's where I'm going to vent. Don't tell me off for anything I've written in here. If you don't like it, don't read it. Very simple.
My name is Piper Dollander, I am 22 years old. (from my aura ELF counting), and I am an ELF (Evolutionary Life Form). I live within the ELF realm but am not wanted there. As an ELF, it is our job to control other's lives. If you refuse, they'll try to put you to work other places. If you still refuse, you're considered part of the rebellion and are most likely thrown in prison waiting for your execution. I'm not just part of the rebellion, me, ELF Lauren, and Novec stated the rebel. We are dangerously wanted in several places across the ELF realm, but manage to hide well enough to plan for our next target before we are caught and executed. I myself had gotten caught already, but Aura ELF Lauren managed to break us out. She then proceeded to kill ELF Eli. But I'm not here to explain my background....
I just feel guilty. I mean, I know it was the best choice to send her back to the dimension she came from, but the way she looked at me when I told her it was time to go.... I regret it.... I just want her by me, and maybe that's selfish, but I just want to ensure she's okay at all times. I can't watch her while she's an Aura ELF. She's created a portable Blind Spot Generator over the entire Agent School. As and ELF I can't see her or track her while she's under that blind spot. It also means, I can't be with her down in the Agent School. As an ELF, I can't survive in a blind Spot as Aura ELVES can.
Lauren's not eating again. She's so obsessive on her plans and forgets, as well as the fact that she's anorexic. She's so d@mn stubborn. I wish she'd just take care of herself like a normal person would. She's only 99 lbs and she's 21..... She'll pass out randomly because she has no energy to keep her going throughout the day. She just guzzles water and thinks she'll survive like that.
I don't know, why I'm ranting all this to you. I guess, I'm just upset. I feel as if Lauren hates me for this. We've been in too many fights, and this is just another to mark down. But I hope this one doesn't change her. I love her the way she is, despite all her flaws. I'd hate for a broken Lauren to come back to me because of what I've done.... Was it right of me to send her back? I think it was the best option, but now I'm starting to second guess it....
~Piper
To Lauren:
B VAvO XAI. GIC B FZY CA YA CFBH. |
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:04:21 GMT -5
B VAvO XAI CAA. HCBVV EZY. GIC B VAvO XAI.
-LJ
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:04:59 GMT -5
YZK'C GF EZY. B'VV HOO XAI HAAK.
~Piper
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:05:16 GMT -5
AN CBCR'Z LMM KVSN VUND ZXN PLSN PXBQ, YHZ AN'DN LMM BR ZXN PLSN YVLS. =)
-LJ
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:05:50 GMT -5
GBUBTVGKYHQ WG HHVJWQNT YGOVH WOQBT INY RWUB XTNKKBP QRB TVUBT.
~Piper
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:06:05 GMT -5
P APKK. RNZ HL GVCLEZK. ZXL RNZC HCJVS, XQVR PS FPWWPSJ, VSW EPJFO. WN SNO XQNT ZSQPK RNZ APS.
-LJ
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:06:49 GMT -5
Feeling..... Peaceful? WTF?
Not sure what to type currently. I'm making plans to take on Avery. It's probably going to take a while to build up and gather what we need to take him on, but we'll get there.
Lauren finally talked to me about her anorexia. It was a very sad talk. She started crying, and I wanted to cry too. But I finally understand her. It's not right she thinks that way, but I'll change her perspective.
Not much to update on.
~Piper
FCVTBAK'S D bI SIBBDKY yVT SCI FJOI SCDKY?
~Piper
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 8:07:12 GMT -5
-../---// -.--/---/..-// .-././--/./--/-..././.-.// -/..../../...// ?// ---..// ....-// .----/..---// .----/..---// .----/.....// *//
-LJ
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 19, 2013 16:25:06 GMT -5
What is wrong with Kitt's Therapist?! I asked a simple question of how would you speak to someone with anorexia, and you want to know the answer he gave me?!
"Anorexia is more of a mind thing, rather than a body thing."
I was like WTF?! That wasn't at all what I asked. I even tried rewording my question and he gave me the same d@mn reply! Lauren talked to him and was asking him if alters really HAD to have a role in the system. And at first he said no, but then he starting going on about how we have to protect the host/core because that's the most important on! d@mn him! He only made Lauren even more upset when he started poking fun about Kitt's weight. That made both Kitt and Lauren feel bad about the body and so then she started throwing a hissy fit on the inside every time Kitt tried to get something to eat! Kitt finally ignored Lauren and had a quick sandwhich, but my God! She's going to start making Kitt anorexic too! Some therapist, huh?
~Piper
B YA POEOEGOP. FOVVA. B FZCO CFO C! YAK'c VBCOK CA FBE.
~Piper
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Post by MultipleMinds on Nov 26, 2013 21:03:43 GMT -5
Taking care of Karson right now. Can't help but to be pissed at the agent school and how they're rejecting Lauren. After all she's done for them and this is how they repay her?! Kitt's been making beaded bracelets all day. I haven't been out much, but I guess I'm out right now.....
~Piper
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