What has happened to me? *Trigger Warning*

[MultipleMinds]

Emotions are raging.... Thoughts are racing.... Failure is emanate.... Depression is strangling.... Why should this matter? I don't know why, but I'm suddenly very aware of what others think of me. And usually in the past, this has never bothered me, but today.... I feel like someone else. I feel depressed over simple comments about me made by others. I can't feel the anger that usually boils up inside of me to back talk or get rid of the depression from coming near me. It's like I've lost every quality about me. For the first time in my life, words hurt. And I know I seem so girly and stupid talking about this, but I had to put it somewhere. I had to get this out to someone. I'm so upset right now. Just because I didn't feel like talking or putting up with a child's nonsense, I was called a bitch today. Hell, maybe I am one, and usually that wouldn't bother me one bit, but today it was different. When heard the thought slip out of her mouth and everyone's laughter to it, instead of anger, I only feel embarrassed, shamed, and depressed. I hate this family. I understand why Kitt gets depressed now too. They're always putting her down, or putting us down. The mother doesn't listen to a damn thing that needs to be taken care of, and just bitches at Kitt for everything. What a depressing life. To have no one there to support you. I mean, she has Hornet, and I have Piper, but neither of them are around ALL the time. I never used to be tis sensitive. I feel like I'm having mood swings. I pray to God I'm not pregnant. Ever since last night, I've been feeling so exposed, so vulnerable. I don't feel safe. I don't feel well. I don't feel happy. Is joy an emotion I'm never allowed to have? Maybe so. What did I do wrong? I don't understand how one day everyone likes/tolerates me and then the next I'm a freaking outcast who nobody wants around them. Why should I even try? Why should I even give an effort to make things better. I truly am alone..... And I'll always be.....
-LJ